My Valentine Gift to You!

If you are reading this I understand you are a cosmopolitan man with a fair knowledge of geopolitics and a need to get laid. Valentines is coming and you don't want to be alone. Here is a simple way to put your knowledge and New York’s constant floating foreign population to work. Foreigners are a easy target for New Yorkers they are naïve and easy to impress with little or no commitment. You will now see the three major groups of foreigners and where to find them according to your needs.

Tourist
How Long: 2 weeks to 6 months
Where: Museums, Statue of liberty… all those places New Yorkers never go. Target people with maps on their hands.
Approach: This applies to all categories “Where are you from” or if you recognize the language they are speaking “Are you from________”. You go on to say “I always wanted to go to (Capital of the country)” If you know the language you are set. If you know a few words know be humble a about it and say "I only know how to say_______". They will think is cute. Be confident you are the New Yorker offer to show around. And lie, lie, lie you will never see them again and your main target is to get laid so go on enjoy your new identity as an eccentric Manhattan millionaire.

Au Pair
How Long: 6 months to a Year
Where: Pen Station and Grand Central on Fridays and Saturday nights.
Approach: Prey on their desperation, these girls have been working all week in the suburbs taking care of snotty little brats, and you are there to help them. They have great advantages like tourist they don’t know the city that well and want to go crazy on the weekend. They all travel in packs, and best of all they are all girls. Another advantage is that you only have to see them on the weekends. Use the same technique as in tourist but with less lies. Lies have to be inversely proportional to the length of their stay.

Exchange Students
How Long: 6 months to 4 Years
Where: Colleges and Universities.
Approach: Theses girls can be a bit more complicated, and here is where your knowledge of current affairs comes in handy. Once you find out where she is from talk about authors, music etc. If you don’t know much and you are sure to see her again Google that shit. But don’t bore her to death; Show your knowledge little by little as the conversation progresses. Also and this applies to all previous categories also Stir away from stereotypes. Stereotypes are a one-way ticket to high-speed Internet porn land.

Examples of Do’s and Don’ts:
German: Do talk about Bauhaus. Don’t talk about Nazis
French: Do talk about Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarcozy. Don’t say voule vou couche avec moi.
Russian: Suicidal novelists, constructivism. Don’t talk about communism.